Sunday, July 28, 2013

Book Review: Across the Face of the World

Title: Across the Face of the World
Author: Russell Kirkpatrick
Genre: Epic Fantasy

Summary

Leith had lost hope that his father would ever return.  Mahnum, a trader, left his wife and sons two years ago to investigate troubling rumors in Bhrudwo, the land of the sinister Undying Man.  When he unveils a coming invasion, Mahnum flees.  He's hotly pursued by four deadly Bhrudwan warriors.

Arriving home to the small village of Loulea, Mahnum has just enough time to reveal the horrific news to his family before the warriors catch up.  They capture Mahnum and his wife, leaving Leith and his brother Hal for dead.

Helped by three villagers--the fat and peacemaking Haufuth, cantankerous old Kurr, and beautiful Stella--Leith and his brother launch a quest to save their parents and warn the king about the coming vengeance of the Undying Man.

Review

Five maps and a glossary attest to Mr. Kirkpatrick's dedication to world-building, by far, the strongest attribute of his book.  Here is a raw and wild land of snow-filled mountains, cascading rapids, and pits reeking with the bodies of the sacrificed.  The cultures are many and varied, and the author treats them with respect, whether the people be allies or enemies.  Religious stories of the Most High and folktales of Qali the snow god pepper the pages.  Not only do they add depth to the world, they are entertaining and exciting reads in and of themselves.

The plot, on the other hand, is like a showcase for the world-building.  For 500 pages it consists of nothing but one chase after another.  While this is a good vehicle for dragging the characters across the beautiful landscape, it makes it very hard to muster enthusiasm for reading.  A chase is only exciting if it's short.  Months and months of the characters almost finding (but not quite) their loved ones soon becomes tedious.

Nor did I find the main protagonist Leith very compelling.  Leith is the very definition of "tow-headed farm boy wanting to be normal but destined for greatness," an overused fantasy trope.  Honestly, Leith doesn't do much, mostly getting dragged around by the more interesting supporting characters.  The Haufuth has a self-effacing leadership style, while Kurr's deliciously cranky.  I wanted to see more of younger brother Hal, who seems to have mystical powers.

Much as I liked the side cast, the third person omniscient point of view prevented me from accessing their innermost thoughts.  Between the distant pov and paragrahs of description, the book was a slow read.  It had its moments, but I'm not sure it's enough for me to continue onto the second book in the series.

Rant (Warning: Spoilers)

I almost didn't finish this book.  After reading the first chapter, I put the book down and contemplated casting it aside.  But I told myself, Get through the first hundred pages at least and then decide.  

Not a great sign.

The first hundred pages interested me enough for me to continue.  Even so, reading proved to be a exercise in discipline.  I forced myself to read chapter after chapter, gritting my teeth on the last fifty pages.  Just get through it, just get through it.

The book did not compel me to read, so I would say, it was not very compelling.  Why not?  Well, I've touched upon it in my review.  But to expound, there are two main factors: a distant point of view and a static plot.

A close point of view, by contrast, can be either first person or third person, but either way I am in the character's head, seeing the world through their eyes.  Across the Face of the World was told in omniscient point of view, which meant that pretty much all the description, lovely as it was, felt like staring at a un-narrated nature footage for a full 15 minutes.  For example, at the start of Chapter 4:

"The morning sun shone bright and clear, supervising a roguish westerly breeze.  The wind caressed the freshly fallen snow, rattled the bones of the tall poplars and ruffled the dark tunics of the mourners gathered around the two open graves.  Around them swirled the glory and the bitterness of life: the heartswelling sound of songbirds, the cheeky glint of the sun on the swift-running brook, the crisp wind on downcast faces, the pungent smell of freshly turned earth; the salty taste of sadness and death on such a morning as this filled the hearts of the people grouped together at the graveside...."

...And it goes on for another half paragraph.

Who actually sees the sun and feels the wind and hears the birds?  People, generic people.  There's no intimacy, no individuality--all are equally sad.  Yet at any given funeral, one person might be weeping over the memory of the departed, another might assume a pose of reverence while his mind wanders to lunch, someone else might be numbed with shock.  We don't get any of this, so we lose the actual experience of being the mourners at the funeral.  Instead, we're regulated to spectators.

Now for the plot.  I think that all stories need at least one strong central question to compel the reader forward all the way to the end.  In a mystery, it might be "Who is the murderer?" and "How did they commit the crime?"  In a romance, it might be "Will the lovers be together at the end?" and "How will they overcome the obstacles that separate them?"

In this book, after Mahnum gets kidnapped, the central question became, "How will his sons and a ragtag bunch of villagers defeat four trained warriors to rescue him?"  Also, "How will rescuing him play a larger role in preventing the Undying Man from conquering the world?"  So far so good.

The thing is, the central questions are not allowed to sit idly by on the sidelines.  The story must continue to address them.  That's why, in the mystery, clues must be unearthed.  In romance, the lovers must struggle through problem after problem.  Above all, progress must be made, even if it is of the "two steps forward, one step back" variety.

In Across the Face of the World, the ragtag bunch of heroes chase Mahnum, admire the scenery, meet new people, hear a tale, get into a fight, and chase Mahnum some more.  It gets rather repetitive.  But the heroes don't actually develop any skills for defeating the Bhrudwan warriors.  Those same skills might also help develop the second question, how to defeat the Undying Man.

What's doubly frustrating is that almost as soon as the heroes start the quest, a holy man prophesies, "As you leave this little valley, you'll be leavin' the realm you know, [...] the realm of the flesh, and you'll be drawn into the Realm of Fire. [...]  Miracles there are in the Realm of Fire, and illusion, and dreams, and prophecy to bind and to loose, and dark magic.  [...]  I foresee that the Most High will be trainin' you in the way of the Fiery Realm."

And yet, no one has been trained, with the exception of Hal, who might have already had the power to begin with.  It's not that the characters aren't subjected to prophets and prophecies and miracles, they simply don't take anything away from the experience.  Leith, for example, actually sees brother Hal swathed in an outline of blue fire, with shadowy wings on his back, speaking words as though he were a messenger of God.  So what does Leith do?  He doesn't.  He doesn't confront Leith, he doesn't tell anyone, and he doesn't reflect deeply on what he's seen.

Anyway, shortly after (not) realizing that Hal is a prophet, Leith and co finally get to rescue Mahnum, and with some teamwork, ingenuity, and Hal conveniently blocking the Bhrudwan warriors' magic, Mahnum is rescued, and so the first central question is answered... 150 pages before the book ends.

So now what?  Well, ideally, the heroes should start to work on the second question, which is how to save their land from the wrath of the Undying Man.  But immediately after the fight, Leith gets himself captured by a group of bandits.  And so the pattern continues: chase, meet people, hear a tale, fight, and chase again.

And this why I was gritting my teeth for the last 50 pages.  One question had been answered and I knew the second one wouldn't be addressed.

This all sounds like a harsh critique.  But really, I'm just trying to figure out why I had trouble reading the book.  And in the end, maybe the question shouldn't just be, "Why was it so hard for me to read?" but also, "Why did I choose to finish?"

I chose to keep reading because I did care about the characters, because in the rare moments that Mr. Kirkpatrick let us into their heads, I liked what I saw.  I kept reading, because I wanted to know what would happen to Mahnum, if he'd be rescued, and how.   I kept reading because I loved experiencing Leith forced to spend a night on the ice huddled for warmth with a girl he loves who doesn't love him back; cascading down rapids with jolly fur traders; standing drugged above a crack in the earth about to be shoved off and sacrificed to Mother Earth.

And I chose to keep reading, because I knew that Mr. Kirkpatrick's strengths were my weakness: setting and world-building and description.  I was inspired by the originally-formed world, and I wondered if I could ever hope to master the depth and richness.  So I read, hoping to learn and be inspired.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Weekly Update: 7-26-13 (Bookstore Conversation)

Despite house-sitting for my parents up in Victorville with only a dog and two turtles to keep me company at night, I've had a fairly social week.  I hung out with my cousins on Tuesday night and all of Wednesday.  We made gnocchi and manicotti and giggled like lunitics while playing charades.  (The biggest laugh came with the word "alligator wrestling."  I was an alligator and my cousin tackled me.)  Today I went shopping with my friend Melissa.

As always, we started our day in Barnes and Noble.  Since I'd just finished with my poll, we ended up analyzing the shelves of YA new arrivals.  We were discussing what titles and pictures caught our eye, and though we both had different tastes, a cover of New York City standing above a waterfall definitely caught our eye.  The Ward was the name of the book, and as I skimmed the flap, the things that sold us were the idea of Manhattan flooded, a sickness threatening a sister, and a car that could climb up skyscrapers.  Melissa decided to buy it, but hesistated when she saw the price.  $17.99.

"What's wrong with it?" she asked.  

As it turned out the hardcover books she was used to buying were in the range of $26.00 (though she got them at discount).  If the book were cheaper, it must mean it wasn't as good.  Once I showed her that all the YA books were in the $17.99 range, she happily bought it, along with a Mary Higgins Clark book (she didn't even read the summary) and The Cuckoo's Calling, after I explained that it was a mystery penned by J.K. Rowling under a pseudonym.

As we exited the store, she started to complain about not having room on her shelves. 

"I could donate them, but I don't want to.  It feels like I've already invested so much money in them.  But I'm never going to read them again."

"It's like a collection," I said.  "Like stamps."

"Or Barbies."

Melissa thought she ought to go to e-reader, but didn't like how it felt on her eye.  

"That's why I don't like reading your story," she said.  "I'll read it when you've published it.  But the document hurts my eye."

"My cousins have similar complaints," I said.

"Anyway, now that I have these new books, I don't have time to read yours.  Besides, I don't know how good yours will be anyway."  She grinned.  "You're still an unknown." 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Changelings: Summary

As those of you reading this blog may know, I've just about finished my first book, an 800-page epic fantasy called The Changelings.  As I prepare to submit to agents (or, failing that, self-publish), I've been trying to write a summary that will entice my audience while also capturing the essence of my novel.  This is what I've come up.  Let me know what you think.

Summary

What if your whole life was a lie? 

Sylvie of Brenton thought she knew who she was--the priest's daughter, an unassuming human girl content to lead an ordinary life.  But one sweltering summer day, her best friend Matthew reveals a long-held secret: Sylvie is a Changeling--a creature given human form and switched with the priest's real daughter.  And she's not the only one.

Four other Changelings lay hidden in the desert town of Brenton--including Matthew himself.  Once a child prophet, Matthew's premonitions of conquest and collapse prompted his people to create the Changelings--their one hope of survival.  Unfortunately, Matthew's visions were incomplete.  For seventeen years he waited to receive the end of the prophecy.  Now at last he sees the truth.

Matthew will die.  It's Sylvie who must finish the prophecy for him.

Heartbroken and confused, Sylvie tries to forget Matthew's words.  But the prophecy will not be contained.  Soon, the remaining Changelings set forth on a journey leading back to the place of their creation, where they will learn their true identities and confront their destiny.  And Sylvie--the only Changeling who knows the truth--must decide whether to uphold the prophecy that killed her best friend or abandon it altogether....

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Poll Results: How Do You Discover Books?

Last month, I sent out a poll to various friends, family, and acquaintances to ask them how they discovered books and what made them choose to buy them.  I received 15 replies, 14 of whom were female, ranging in age from early 20s to retired.  Many are writers and many are involved in education.

If more surveys trickle in, I may update this.  But for now, may I present the results of research.

1. How many fiction books/ novellas do you read each year?

Average (Mean): 33 books a year
Lowest: 2 books a year
Highest: 200 books a year

2.  How do you find new books?

"My favorite way to find a new book is on amazon.com because after having rated some books, the website will give me personalized recommendations.  This is less overwhelming than walking into a bookstore with no idea what I'm looking for."

"Sometimes I browse the used bookstores and just pick up something that looks interesting or was recommended by one of their store employees.  Another minor way I've read a few books was through goodreads.com.  [...] Honestly, though, I've read all the books I've discovered this way, but haven't fallen in love with any of the authors.  Really, my biggest way of finding new books is asking my friends what they like, then sticking with the authors I like."

60% (9/15) of those polled cited Friends/ Word of Mouth as a way to find new books.
53% (8/15) of those polled cited Browsing at bookstores, libraries, or used bookstores.
47% (7/15) of those polled cited Amazon.com, using recommendations, email alerts, discussions, reviews, and freebies.
27% (4/15) of those polled cited Barnesandnoble.com, using recommendations and email alerts.
27% (4/15) of those polled cited Other Websites, including Goodreads, Reddit, Pinterest, and Bookseller's Digest.
13% (2/15) of those polled cited Newspapers.
13% (2/15) of those polled cited Movies.
40% (6/15) of those polled cited Miscellaneous, including anthologies, radio, bookseller's lists, online reviews, favorite authors, and literary classes.

3.  How does a book first catch your eye?

"The first page/ hook is important--that's where I see if I like the writing style, story, and character--given the limited time that I have, do I want to be involved in the story?"

"I'll pick up something that catches my eye based on the cover (oddly enough) or title.  I'll then pick it up, read the back, and take a peek inside.  If I find that the first few pages has sucked me in, I'll take the book home with me."

47% (7/15) of those polled cited the Title.
40% (6/15) of those polled cited the Cover, looking at the color, if it jumps out, birds, strong female character, and if it looks funny.
33% (5/15) of those polled cited the Author's Name.
27% (4/15) of those polled cited the Summary/ Description on Back.
27% (4/15) of those polled cited the First Page(s), looking at the writing style, the story, the characters, and the theme.
13% (2/15) of those polled cited Genre.
7% (1/15) of those polled cited Bookstore Employee Recommendation Signs.
7% (1/15) of those polled cited Reviews.

4.  After getting your attention, what makes you decide to buy/ read a book?

"Hooked after the first chapter/ few pages.  Usually the summary 'sells me' in addition to online recommendations/ reviews."

"Right now, it has to be very inexpensive or free.  I'll read just about anything Michelle Knowlden recommends.  If it's a new book in a series I'm already reading."

60% (9/15) of those polled cited Summary and Description, with one person being sold on murder and another considering blurbs.
47% (7/15) of those polled cited First Page(s), with one person looking at style.
27% (4/15) of those polled cited Price, with one person not buying a book over $10.00 and another wanting the book to be inexpensive or free.
13% (2/15) of those polled cited Good Reviews.
13% (2/15) of those polled cited Next in a Series.
13% (2/15) of those polled cited Recommendations.

5.  Is feeling like you know the author important? 

"Through their writing, tells a lot about the author.  The author pours themselves into whatever they're writing."

"I don't go out looking for facts about any author.  The only thing I want to know is what to expect from them through their writing.  I've noticed that when I like one book from an author, I tend to like all of their books, because the writing style and type of plot doesn't change."

53% (8/15) of those polled said Yes.
5 people said, "I learn about them through their writing."
1 person said, "I like supporting local authors."
2 people read the Author's Biography.
2 people check the Author's Website.

33% (5/15) of those polled said No.
2 people said "All I care about is their writing."
2 people said "But knowing the author is a nice bonus."
1 person said, "Except when their life is important to understanding their work."

13% (2/15) did not answer.

6. What are your favorite books and how did you discover them?

"Twilight--Amiee bought the entire series for me for Christmas and told me I had to read them.  I loved these books.  I read each book in 2 days.  That's a record for me."

"The Great Gatsby--Read it in high school for an English class and enjoyed it.  Re-read it when I found out they were making a movie."

"The Hunger Games--A certain niece told me about it, took me to the movie, and started to read the book to me."

49% (21/43) of books came from Friends or Family, with 8 specified as Recommendations, 4 as Gifts, and 3 as Loans.
13% (6/43) of books were discovered from School, with 3 Assigned Reading, 1 from an AP Practice Test, 1 from SAT Essays, and 1 from a Book Order
13% (6/43) of books came from Bookstores, with 1 specified as from the Library Bookstore, 1 from Barnes and Noble, and 1 from Borders.
7% (3/43) of books were discovered when a Movie came out.
5% (2/43) of books came from an Anthology
5% (2/43) of books came from Book Clubs
2% (1/43) of books came from an Amazon Recommendation
2% (1/43) of books came from Book Exchange
2% (1/43) of books was discovered because they Already Knew the Author

By the way, the The Top 3 Favorite Books/ Authors are:

#1 Harry Potter/ J.K. Rowling (6 Mentions)
#2 The Hunger Games/ Suzanne Collins (4 Mentions)
#3 (Tie) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy/ Douglas Adams (3 Mentions)
#3 (Tie) Twilight/ Stephanie Meyers (3 Mentions)
#3 (Tie) Agatha Christie (3 Mentions)

Honorable Mentions: Lord of the Rings, C.S. Lewis, David Sedaris, Cormac McCarthy, Neil Gaimon, Chuck Palahniuk, and Terry Pratchett

Conclusion

Most readers seem to find their books via recommendation, whether through friends or Amazon.  There's still a lot of physical circulation of books, through loans, gifts, libraries, bookstores, and used bookstores.  The title and cover are what catches people's eyes, but it's the summary and actual writing that seals the deal.

Interestingly enough, when asked when knowing the author is important, most people, whether they answered yes or no, say they learn what they want from the writing and will continue to buy books from an author they like.  Neither group seems to seek out supplementary info via a blog, social media, etc.  They might glance at a bio, though.

Almost half the favorite books were recommended by friends and family, many of whom passionately force their favorites onto others.  This means the same books keep circulating.  Online websites don't actually seem to match people with their favorite books--at least, not in this survey.  Even browsing and school did a better job of that.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Weekly Update: 7-20-13

Discipline does not come naturally to me.  I have to cultivate it, like some beautiful hothouse flower, putting in time and effort and care.  The slightest negligence and the whole thing withers into a heap of mulch.

Or to put it in less flowery terms: I've been a lazy, Candy-Crush-playing, Reality-T.V.-watching layabout the house.  I hate it and yet I secretly enjoy it.  I know that by fall, when school starts up, I'll have to be disciplined again, so I am procrastinating with all my might. 

I hope this week will represent a turning point.  I'll be house-sitting in Victorville while my family goes to Oklahoma to prepare for the birth of my brother's first child.  (I'm not going because there's limited space and I'm not all gaga for newborns anyway.)  I hope I'll have less distractions and this in turn will help me get things done.  But we'll see.

Last week Friday, I finally got my driver's license.  I was so nervous, I could hardly sleep.  I tried reading Agatha Christie to soothe my nerves.  By Saturday, I'd finished: Murder on the Links, Poirot Investigates, Taken at the Flood, Mrs. McGinty's Dead, and The Big Four.  (I liked all of them except The Big Four, which abandoned the English cozy mystery format to become an international spy; this change did not work.)  This week, I've been reading non-fiction on battles, weapons, Mongols, bad parents, and Ennagrams.  

I figure, if I must procrastinate, better to at least get some reading done.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Fiction: The Character Assassination of Julia Kaiser

"They're out to get you."  The homeless man grips me by the shoulder and pushes his face close to mine.  "It's March," he wheezes.  "The weather warms up, and the crows come out.  Can't you see their glittering eyes?  They accuse you.  Beware! Beware the eyes of March!"

"Thanks for the advice."  I push his hand off me.  "Here's a dollar for you trouble."

His gazes at me with bloodshot eyes.  "The eyes of March... the eyes of March."

"Creepy old man."  My cousin Otti shudders.

"He's harmless."

"He smells."  She kicks a rock.  "I hate walking."

"Oh, cheer up, Otti.  It's good exercise."

She scowls.  "I told you not to call me that in public."

Ottiviana has always hated her name.  She prefers her middle name—Summer.  Personally, I think she's too stoned-faced and serious to pull it off.

"We aren't in public yet," I say.  "Still a block to school."

"We wouldn't have to walk if you had your car.  That's twice in a month someone's trashed it," my cousin mutters.  "I swear, Julia, someone's out to get you."

"It happens," I say lightly.  "You can't be smart, pretty, and popular without making a few enemies.  People are bound to be jealous."

Otti shakes her head.

We get through the gates of school right as the bell rings, and there we part ways.  Otti heads off to the sophomore corridor, while I go down the senior hall.  The walls are jammed with students, but I spot my veep, Marcia Anthony, near the drinking fountain.  As usual, she's going through her debate cards.

"Student Council meeting after school today," I call to her.  "Don't forget."

She nods absently.

First period Spanish.  I try to think if I've done the homework.  Only half, but it should be okay.  My conversation partner, Brittany, will help me fill in the blanks.  She's one of my oldest friends and won't mind the favor.

"Hola, Britti."  I plop into my desk.  "Como estas?"

"Bien," she says quietly.

But she's not bien, and no wonder.  Cassie leans over Brittany's desk on stick-thin arms, hovering over my best friend.  My stomach tightens.  I don't trust Cassie.  She's too skinny, has too much pale foundation smeared over her face.  You have to watch out for girls like that; they're bone-deep insecure.

Cassie wears a poisonous smile.  "We were just discussing all your extracurricular activities.  You're so busy, Julia, it's a wonder you find time to sleep."

"That's what vacations are for."

"Not this vacation.  You'll be traveling all over Europe on the Ambassador Scholarship."  She rises to her full 6' 2" model height.  "It's such an honor to represent our school, our state, our country.  To be a positive role model for all girls."

"Yes."  I flash my teeth at her.  "I'm just sorry it could only go to one person.  I know you had your heart set on it."

She shrugs.  "All I care about is showing our school in the best possible light."

"That's what I'll do.  You can be sure of that."

The bell rings.  Cassie glides out the door, fake smile still plastered to her mouth.

* * *

The security guard interrupts my Student Council meeting, right when I'm in a fierce debate with Marcia on how to spend our prom budget.  She wants her boyfriend Theo Patrick's band to play.  I say no.  She's still going on about it, when the security guard knocks on the door.

"Julia Kaiser, you're wanted in the principal's office.  Immediately."

"Okay."  I take the note, expecting him to leave.

He doesn't.  "I'll walk with you."

That's a little strange.  "Am I in trouble?"

No reply.

I look at Marcia.  "Continue the meeting.  And it's still a no on Theo's band."

She makes a sour face.

I walk up to the principal's office with the security guard.  Romano Paxton, reads the flashy gold letters on the door.  Inside the office stand Cassie and several members of her posse, some I know, some I don't.  The girls crowd the room so thickly, I can hardly see Mr. Paxton.  He hunches over his desk, his fingers knit together and a grave expression on his face.

"Julia, sit down.  A serious charge has been brought against you."

"Against me?  Why?  What did I do?"

He brings something out of his desk.  "Is this yours?"

He holds up a dagger, and my heart stops.  It's a military-grade knife my brother gave to me before he went overseas.  I know it's mine, because the silver handle has my name engraved on it.

"How-how did you get that?"

"We found it in your locker."

"My locker?"  My heart races.  "Mr. Paxton, you don't think that I, of all people, brought a knife to school?  Why would I do that?  I spoke out in favor of the school's zero-tolerance weapon policy just last September."

"I find it hard to believe as well."  He rubs his eyes.  "But there are witnesses."
Cassie looms toward me, and her mascaraed eyes glitter.

"You're sick, Julia.  You need help.  You bring that dagger to school every day and hurt people you don't like.  You make them do things they don't want to do."

"What are you talking about?"

A girl I've never seen before points a bony finger at me.  "You made me steal Mr. Gaul's test answers.  You said if I didn't, you'd tell my boyfriend I was cheating on him."

"You called me fat and ugly and stupid," another girl says.   "You'd take out that knife and cut me in the bathroom just for fun."

A third girl circles me.  "You threatened to kill me if I opened my mouth about you.  You said no one would believe you did it, because you're student president."

"You're all liars!" I yell.

"We know what you really are, Julia."

That voice kills me.

The crowd shifts, and now I see her.  She stands by the window.  The glaring light of the afternoon sun shrouds her in shadow.

"Y tu, Britti?" I say softly.

Her eyes harden.  She turns to Mr. Paxton.

"Julia and I were friends until middle school.  Then she changed.  During class she still acted nice, but after school she'd drink and start cussing me out.  I shrugged it off, because I knew her parents were getting a divorce.  But then she did this to me."

She lifts up her hair to show the scar on the back of her neck.

Julia's Bitch.

The letters are still carved into Brittany's skin.  Cut by my own dagger, cut by my own hand.  Tears well in my eyes, and my face grows hot as I remember pinning her down while she cried and I laughed.  I want to hide.  I want to shrink smaller and smaller, until I disappear completely.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.  "You know how sorry I am.  I stopped drinking.  I went to counseling.  You said you'd forgiven me.  You promised not to tell."

"Because I thought you'd changed."  Brittany steps forward.  "But you haven't.  You're still a bully, Julia, and that's all you'll ever be.  You don't deserve to represent our school.  You don’t deserve my protection.  No one else will be hurt by my silence again."

I'm dead inside.

More accusations fly, but I no longer hear them.  Brittany's betrayal has bled me dry, and I can't even defend myself.  Mr. Paxton tosses around words like forfeiture of scholarship and expulsion.  I nod mutely, curling my arms around my chest.  I just want to get out of there, as quickly as I can.

By the time they release me, a small crowd has gathered around the principal's door to gaze at my lifeless body.  Marcia's pale face stands out among the onlookers, and her eyes are wide with horror.  

"What happened?" she cries.  But I float away like a ghost.  I pass through the school gates and wander the streets, until I reach my bed.  I entomb myself under mounds of blankets.  And there I lay, sobbing.

The blankets lift.  "Julia!"

"Summer!" I gasp.

My little cousin wraps her arms around me.  I bawl into her chest.

"It's a lie.  It's all a lie."

"I know, I know."  She strokes my head.  "Don't you worry.  I'll restore your reputation.  Those girls who did this to you—I'll destroy them, Julia.  You wait.  Those girls will pay for what they've done."

Her voice is like steel.  I see the determination in her eyes and know she means every word.  My sobbing subsides.  I sniffle one last time and wipe my tears away.

Note: I wrote this story in for my Brea Library Writer's Club March Contest.  Ultimately, the contest fizzled due to lack of entries.  I tried to re-write Shakespeare's Julius Caesar with high school girls.  It started off with lots of bad name puns and ended up getting really dark and intense.  It sort of scared me, but I couldn't figure out how else to portray the "assassination."  So it is what it is. 

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Weekly Update: 7-6-13

I've been bitten by the lazy bug, infected by the lazy virus, and bed-ridden by the lazy flu.  No need to send me cards.  A swift kick in the pants ought to do it.

It's depressing to talk about how little I've accomplished.  So I won't.

I did discover that my local library was doing an adult summer reading program.  Sign up in Brea Library and get a free book, with chances to win other prizes!  I love summer reading programs.  It's not that I wouldn't read, but the opportunity to get free stuff just makes it that much sweeter.

I read The World Without Us by Alan Weisman, which is a speculative nonfiction about what would happen to Planet Earth if humans suddenly vanished.  It's actually a well put together story of the impact humans have had on the world.  The second book I read was The Survivor's Club by Ben Sherwood, which talks about people who have survived disasters and how they did it.

I've also been watching "Through the Wormhole" on T.V. (Science Channel), where host Morgan Freeman takes science fiction concepts like "Can our Brains be Hacked?" and "Will Sex Become Obsolete?" and shows how current science could tilt in those directions.  My uncle also dug up on YouTube an old series called "Connections: With James Burke" which talks about the zig-zagging pattern of trends and inventions that led to the modern world.  It's part science, part history and surprisingly addictive.

Now all this makes me sound smart, but it's still, in the end, procrastination.  I'm trying desperately not to think about stuff I need to do: short story writing, market research, driving practice, new banks, health care, etc.  It's too overwhelming.

I figured, if I'm going to procrastinate anyway, I might as well do something.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Poll: How Do You Discover Books?

As everyone knows, I'm trying to transition from writing my book to selling my book.  That's hard for me, because I'm not a salesman and I feel about as wise as toe jam in this arena.  So this week has been all about gathering information.  But as I sort through platform-building and agent-researching, a more simple thought has caught my attention.

How do people get their books?  How do they find them and what makes them buy them?

It's not like buying soap after all.  Books are extremely personal.

I always start by analyzing myself, in this case, looking at the way I buy books.  But that only goes so far.  So I'm going to try something different and do a quick poll of my friends and family, especially those who read within my genre.  I'll collect data and try to analyze it.

I've never done this before, so I guess it will be an experiment.  :)

Poll!  Poll!  Poll!

1. How many fiction books/ novellas do you read a year?

2. How do you find new books?  Be as specific as possible and list websites, if any.

3. How does a book first catch your eye?

4. After getting your attention, what makes you decide to buy/ read a book?

5. Is feeling like you know the author important?  If so, what ways do you get to know them?

6. List your top 10 favorite fiction books at this time and how you discovered them.

Thank you.

Example Answers (Filled-In By Me)

1. How many fiction books/ novellas do you read a year?

Sigh.  I used to read more.  Right now, I'm probably lucky to read 1 a month.  So, 12.  (Hangs head in shame.)

2. How do you find new books?  Be as specific as possible and list websites, if any.

The Brea Library and used bookstore.
Barnes and Noble bookstore.
Amazon.com.
Recommendations and loans from friends.

3. How does a book first catch your eye?

If I'm browsing, the cover art and title are important.  Same thing for Amazon, except I'm also paying attention to the star count.  If someone is recommending a book to me, I listen to the summary (to see if it's something I'm interested in) and gauge the enthusiasm of the speaker.

4. After getting your attention, what "seals the deal" for you to decide to buy/ read a book?

I want to know what makes the story different or interesting.  Once I bought a book that talked about the children of Lucifer and an angel and promised "an epic custody battle."   On the other hand, if I come across too many cliches, I put the book back.

The author's prose is also important.  I like to scan the first few pages.  If the prose seems unprofessional, confusing, or dull, I won't read it.

If someone recommends a book, I want as many details about the story as possible.  My mom actually gave away the ending to the Lord of the Rings and it only made me want to read it more.

Four-and-a-half star reviews on Amazon.

5. Is feeling like you know the author important?  If so, what ways do you get to know the author?

If I happen to be friends with an author or if hear them speak and find their premise intriguing, I'm willing to at least give the book a glance.  But I'll usually only buy/ read it if it's something I'm interested in.

Other than that, I don't care.  I get to know the author through their writing.  A good story is the most important thing.

6. List your top 10 favorite fiction books at this time and how you discovered them.

1. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Recommended.  My mother basically gave a (brief) summary of the novels during car rides.  I dug it up at the library in 6th grade and was a fan ever since.

2. Watership Down by Richard Adams
Recommended.  Again, this came from my mother.  She told me about it.  Later I found it in the library in junior high. Read it and loved it.

3. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
Browsed.  I found this book in the public library in high school.  I liked the title and the cover art intrigued me somehow.  The summary sounded iffy, but since it was just a library loan, I thought I'd give it a shot.  Read it in 2 days.

4. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Amazon.  I think my Amazon account recommended it to me directly.  I was living in Japan and desperate for English books.  It sounded too much like Battle Royale, but the high star count persuaded me.  Since then, I've personally gotten a cousin and an aunt hooked on the series.

5. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin
Recommended.  My friend in college told me the plot (which, surprisingly, was not a fusty tome about racism but a cute little romance) and loaned it to me.

6. Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson
Amazon.  In Japan, I browsed the fantasy section and I noticed this book kept coming up and that it had a high star count.  The back cover says, "Once a hero arose to save the world.  [...] He failed."  That struck me as different and intentionally playing against fantasy stereotypes.

7. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
Inherited.  Found it among the books left behind by my predecessor in my apartment in Japan.  I liked the title and cover art.  A few pages in, and I was hooked.

8. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie
Browsed.  I was introduced to Agatha Christie by my aunt in 6th grade, but I found it too difficult for me at that time.  Later, I started reading her again.  I got on an Agatha Christie kick while in Japan.  I bought several of her books, but this was my favorite.

9. The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud
Browsed.  Found it in an English bookshelf in Japan.  (Did a lot of reading there.)  The cover art intrigued me.  The snarky voice of the narrator on page 2 and the weird but wonderful footnotes sealed the deal.

10. Ella Enchanted by Rachel Carson Levine
YouTube.  I randomly stumbled upon a YouTube video of a girl reading the first chapter.  The whole thing was a cover of the book and a disembodied voice.  But the prose was so lovely and the first chapter was so good, I got hooked.  I had to buy the book for myself to see what happened.

After I get the results, I'll post it in one of my blogs.

By the way, if any of my readers want to participate, you can email me your answers to my poll at reddragonfly1285@yahoo.com.  Or you can post in the comments, if you like.  I'm especially interested in any out-of-the-ordinary methods, but any info is useful.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Weekly Update: 6-28-13

This is my excuse for not writing: it's hot.  The heat languors and without air-conditioning, all I can do is plant myself underneath a painstakingly slow-moving fan, hoping for the mild wafts of relief.  My sinuses are blown, the house is a mess (we're cleaning out the garage), and I have yet to actually put together a work schedule.  How on earth am I supposed to get anything done?

Whine, whine, whine.

I can give all the excuses I want, but the truth is that life has been barreling at me full-speed ahead, and I'm doing everything in my power to slow it down.  To that end, I've been reading and reflecting. I've gone through several writers magazines and websites in search of advice, I've re-read and re-organized my 500-page rough draft of my second novel, and I've done pages of self-reflection on my future.  Even so, I don't feel like I've actually been productive. 

Thinking is hard.  Trying to take an honest look at your life is painful and deciding your future is scary.  It's so tempting to play Candy Crush or watch Chopped and not deal with these issues, to stay up late, sleep in, and let myself be lazy.  It's so hard to motivate myself when I'm hot and sweaty and I don't want to move.

I guess I'll have to keep at it.

On the bright side, I got to watch Monster's University today.  While I don't think it has the same heart and humor as the first one, the climax was pretty awesome.  When Mike and Sully had their big heart-to-heart moment, I was touched.  I would recommend it.  

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Fears of Finishing

Just about 10:00 PM on Monday night, I finished my novel.  

What sort of emotions would you expect a young writer to feel about her first great accomplishment?  Joy.  Relief.  Maybe a tinge of sorrow.  Well, I felt none of those things.  I felt like I was just finishing up another chapter.  I was hollow and a bit perplexed as to what to do next.  So I went to bed.

That night I couldn't sleep.  My insomnia gave me the first clue as to what my real feelings on finishing were.  Anxiety.

And why not?  After 9 1/2 years, 7 workshops and an independent study, 2 dozen reference books, 7 completed fanfictions, 14 short stories, 2 NaNoWriMos, 100 blog posts, thousands of pages, and countless mistakes, I think I know how to write.  But I knew nothing about publishing.

Two things you should do after completing a major project: celebrate and reflect.  While I've yet to celebrate, the wave of barely-suppressed panic told me I needed to reflect.  So, in this last week, I've been taking a close look at my fears and trying to form a plan.

What comes next isn't pretty, organized, or helpful.  It's just me dealing with my fears in their raw, natural state.

Fear # 1: What if no one wants to read my story?  

Some people write for themselves.  I don't.  I write because I want other people to read my stories.  And it kills me when people don't.  The worst insult you could give to my story is to call it boring.  And so I crammed my fantasy with as much epic-ness as I could squeeze into it.

But what if it's not enough?

Or maybe it's too much.  It's too long.  It's too complex.  It's too confusing.  People don't want a gourmet meal, they just want candy: something bright and shiny, easily consumed and thrown away.  Maybe I was too ambitious.  Maybe my soufflĂ© fell flat.

My mom can't seem to read my story.  She tries and puts it down.  But she likes happy little stories in the vein of Anne of Green Gables.  My dad, on the other hand, who actually reads SF, raves about my story.  He says it goes down quick, it's full of twists, and its spoiled all other fantasy for him.

So I know there is an audience for my book, but that it's probably not for everyone.  This fear is nonsense.  What I really want to know is whether all my close friends and family will enjoy my book.  The answer is probably no.  But I have to get beyond that.  If some people don't like my book, it doesn't mean my story is bad or fundamentally flawed.  It just might not be their taste.

Fear # 2: What if I fail to sell it?

There are people out there who will definitely want to read my story.  The question is, how do I now deliver that product to them?  Also, is my audience large enough that I can actually make a living off this?

I never felt guilty about the idea of making money of my work.  My dream is to be a full-time writer, and that means getting paid.   Lately, my life is a seesaw between making money and reserving enough time to meet the demands of my stories.  As a sub, I have flexible hours, but I do not make a livable wage.  I depend on the rent-free habitation of family members' houses.  That can't last.  So I might have to become a teacher.  But that means that my extra time will first go to obtaining a credential and then grading/ prepping for class.  If I do find time to write, it will be limited.

Unless, of course, I can sell my story.

But can I sell?  I cringe at that.  The idea of forcing a product onto someone is just repulsive to my personality.  At the same time, the American culture not only condones this sort of behavior, but actually snorts with derision if you are unable to do it.  And here stand I, utterly incompetent at money-making.  I feel ignorant and pathetic.

I have actually been researching marketing for a while.  But nothing seems to stick.  It's like that time in college when I stupidly signed up for a class on quantum mechanics.  I could comprehend the words and faintly understand the ideas.  But when I tried to imagine how, for example, string theory applied to the universe and to me, that's when my brain exploded.  That's the same thing with sales for me, except without the "smart person" gloss to make it less humiliating.

I'm afraid I'm not good enough to get this done, and I have no real-life experience to dispute this assumption.

Fear # 3: What if I succeed at this book but can't get the sequel out fast enough?

Ten years is too long a time to push out a book, even if it is an 800-page monster.  Fortunately, I can attribute some of that wasted time to mistakes and learning experiences.  Hopefully, I'll be faster the second time around.

But avoiding old mistakes is no guarantee I won't make new ones.  And now the clock will be ticking against me.  What if I cave under pressure?  What if I break?

As much as I fear failure, I also fear success.  I fear the expectations.  Raising the bar too high and too publicly, only to trip and crash and be laughed at.  While still a nobody, I'm anonymous.  If I become somebody, then all eyes are upon me, waiting for me to fail.  I don't want to disappoint anyone, but that too will be inevitable.

Fear #4: More hard work  

Who's afraid of hard work?  It seems laughable.  Maybe hard work is unpleasant, but you grit your teeth and do it.

And then they give you more work.  And more work.  Until the vibrancy of life leeches away and you feel like you're caught by the throat, choking, your freedom buried under a mountain of tasks.

I think my generation has a good reason to fear too much work.  I, for one, have witnessed my mom watching kids from 7:00-7:00 at our home daycare and then working a part-time job at Mervyns after that.  My dad still does crushing two hour commutes each way to work, leaving the house at 5:00 AM and return at 7:00 PM.  

The culture just seems to demand it.  If you aren't working twelve to fourteen hour days, you're just being lazy.

I don't mind work.  I get antsy when I'm not writing.  Still, when I think of the grueling demands of publicizing--blog everyday, tweet your fans, social media, book signing, etc.--I start to feel dead inside.  I imagine myself running from meaningless little task to meaningless little task, all my energy and intelligence ground to dust, and I cringe.

Fear # 5: Loneliness

I know others have gone before me.  I'm even lucky enough to know published writers.  And yet, when it comes to me and my specific book, I feel that none of it applies.  I feel alone.

It's not that no one has ever published a book.  It's that I've never done it.

I'm like a mountaineer.  Before me lies a rugged, yet neatly kept trail, marked with signs at intervals.  In my backpack, I have a map, a guidebook, and as many supplies as I can hold.  I'm prepared.  Yet, as I stand here, all I can feel is the vast expanse of wilderness between me and the top.

My guidebook has told me what to do if I meet a bear.  But I can't envision myself plucking up the courage to scare one off.  What if I get lost?  What if I run out of water?  The mountain has sent many home in defeat?  Will I be one?  I wish I had my own personal guide, to show me how its done and protect me from harm.  But I don't.  The wind whips through the long grass, and I'm alone.

* * *

Interestingly enough, allowing myself to feel and manifest my own fears gives them less power over me.  After reflecting, I found I could take action, whereas before I was paralyzed.   I took out all my notes and resources and realized I knew a lot more than I realized about publishing.

In the days to come, I will continue to plan and prepare myself.  I know it will be long and difficult, and I will make mistakes.  I just hope I have the determination, persistence, and courage to pull through.