On Wednesday, I made a dentist appointment. It sounds like no big deal. A few cavities that need to be filled. But secretly, I'm pertrified. Not of the cavities, of the bill. I've had 2 subbing jobs in January--not good coming off the holidays. One root canal will send me over the brink.
Meanwhile, I joined an online critique group, sent a short story to Ether, and wrote a new chapter of my Coffins story. I've been working hard to get stuff done, given the many goals I set for myself this year. But the biggest thing preying on my mind is the money thing. I don't care about being rich. I just feel like, without money, my life is spinning out of control. Like I can't take care of myself. Ashamed.
It's something I've been struggling with a lot. Live your dream, they say. Find a meaningful career. At this point, I'd settle for a stable income. It's not that I want to give up writing. I can't; I'm addicted to it. I just wish that I knew all my efforts would lead to something. The uncertainty is hardest thing.
Sorry. It's been a rough week. Maybe I'll be in a better mood next week.
:( Sorry for the bad start. I feel your pain, especially about the dentist bill, I had an appointment two weeks ago. Keep writing, you're very talented, and maybe I can help brainstorm a solution to your financial woes.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the sympathy. :) I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteAnytime. :) I added your blog to "my blog list." I'm still working on figuring out all the techie stuff, but I thought I'd let you know in case you opposed.
DeleteOver the years as I struggle to write my books and stories, I've been overwhelmed at times by the insecurity and uncertainty. I understand. Like Christy says, keep writing and have faith in your work and in what you do. Hugs, d:)
DeleteThanks for the encouragement. :)
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