So November passed, with good times and bad.
On the bright side, I completed my NaNoWriMo. The brainstorming really helped me. I ended up with 54,000 words, 4,000 words more than necessary. Part of what kept me going was a bit of competition with other writers and seeing the chart on the page inch up with every few hundred words added. Yes, there were also times when I got swept up into the story, when I needed nothing else but sheer inspiration. For all the times I got stuck, I had word counts and graphs.
My aunt joined in the fun, though she wrote poems, and we had little adventures in inspiration. We went to the arboritum, to the park, to Huntington Library. We even went to Disneyland as a reward. But I do have to admit, when I finished, I felt rather glum. Yes, I had finished, but it was hard work, harder than I expected and I was sort of disappointed I'd only finished NaNoWriMo and not more.
Now, before you throw knives and pitchforks at me, I have this to say: I only worked twice this month as a substitute, meaning that for November, NaNoWriMo was my employment. And 3 hours a day, 5 days a week seemed like too little work. But that could also be my perfectionism talking. Whenever I accomplish something, I end up with a teaspon of guilt. Either I didn't do enough or I didn't work fast enough. There's always something a little wrong.
Like this blog. I tried to write a few articles for it, but somehow, it didn't work out. Maybe I just don't know what the point of this blog is or who is reading it or who will ever read it. Nonfiction isn't my strength. I don't do it well. Why bother?
Sorry. My writer moodiness is coming out.
I got a further three rejections this month, two on the same day. This is discouraging news for me, but (possibly) good news for you. I'm going to post one of my stories online for you to see. Perhaps I'll get some comments on how to improve it for publication. One can hope and dream.
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Musings on Limited Willpower
Is willpower finite?
I'm so used to thinking of willpower as limitless, like brainpower or human potential or air. I had never considered it might be something we gets in daily allowances to be budgeted throughout the day. Yet this is exactly the argument I stumbled upon while reading the November 2012 edition of Writer's Digest. Mike Becktle's article "Overcoming Writer's Block Without Willpower" began by throwing out this idea:
"Here's the problem with willpower: It's limited. [...] Simply put, when we use it up by resisting a chocolate doughnut all morning, there's none left to stay disciplined in our writing an hour later."
I'd never heard of this before. But I suspect it's on its way to becoming the hot new idea, because just one day later, I read about it again, this time in a recent Cracked article, "5 Ways Your Brain Tricks You into Sticking with Bad Habits" by Dennis Hong. (http://www.cracked.com/article_20028_5-ways-your-brain-tricks-you-into-sticking-with-bad-habits.html)
I'm not entirely certain I believe the scientific explanation, which contrasts making healthy decisions with brainteasers. While resisting temptation may utilize willpower, I would label solving puzzles more a trait of concentration. Either way, as a speculative writer, my reaction to these sort of ideas is to hold it as true in my mind (whether or not I actually believe it is) and see what sort of conclusions you can draw.
So, if we you a limited amount of willpower, what will your reaction be? As with most limitations, you can either use it as an excuse or start getting creative. Is the limit the same day to day, or does it vary with other factors, say how sleepy you are or how much time you've had to relax? Are some people born with more than others? Can you grow it? Can you trick it?
For example, if you take something you hate, such as going to the gym, and make it a habit (which according to the Cracked article will take you ten weeks), does it no longer count as exerting willpower? Or if you make something you dislike fun, will that also lessen the discipline?
And if you find the absolute limit, how will you spend it? If you try to be absolutely efficient with your willpower, will that effort actually drain you of it? If you dole out your efforts spontaneously, will you ever get anything done? What's the fine balance?
These are some thoughts, I like to throw around. To be honest, I've been trying to discipline myself into steady writing for some time now, and it's difficult. The more deadlines and word limits I impose, the more time I spend worrying over them. My willpower goes into maintaining my system and then I wonder why I'm not inspired. How can inspiration come if you're constantly yelling, "You have to write 9 pages by bedtime, hurry up, you're wasting time, you're never going to finish if you don't write already, just get something on the page, I don't care what it is, just do something!" On the other hand, if I didn't force myself to write at least 5 times a week, I'd make excuses and get out of practice.
What are your thoughts on willpower and discipline? Do you find the idea of a limited amount depressing or refreshing?
Comments would be nice.
I'm so used to thinking of willpower as limitless, like brainpower or human potential or air. I had never considered it might be something we gets in daily allowances to be budgeted throughout the day. Yet this is exactly the argument I stumbled upon while reading the November 2012 edition of Writer's Digest. Mike Becktle's article "Overcoming Writer's Block Without Willpower" began by throwing out this idea:
"Here's the problem with willpower: It's limited. [...] Simply put, when we use it up by resisting a chocolate doughnut all morning, there's none left to stay disciplined in our writing an hour later."
I'd never heard of this before. But I suspect it's on its way to becoming the hot new idea, because just one day later, I read about it again, this time in a recent Cracked article, "5 Ways Your Brain Tricks You into Sticking with Bad Habits" by Dennis Hong. (http://www.cracked.com/article_20028_5-ways-your-brain-tricks-you-into-sticking-with-bad-habits.html)
I'm not entirely certain I believe the scientific explanation, which contrasts making healthy decisions with brainteasers. While resisting temptation may utilize willpower, I would label solving puzzles more a trait of concentration. Either way, as a speculative writer, my reaction to these sort of ideas is to hold it as true in my mind (whether or not I actually believe it is) and see what sort of conclusions you can draw.
So, if we you a limited amount of willpower, what will your reaction be? As with most limitations, you can either use it as an excuse or start getting creative. Is the limit the same day to day, or does it vary with other factors, say how sleepy you are or how much time you've had to relax? Are some people born with more than others? Can you grow it? Can you trick it?
For example, if you take something you hate, such as going to the gym, and make it a habit (which according to the Cracked article will take you ten weeks), does it no longer count as exerting willpower? Or if you make something you dislike fun, will that also lessen the discipline?
And if you find the absolute limit, how will you spend it? If you try to be absolutely efficient with your willpower, will that effort actually drain you of it? If you dole out your efforts spontaneously, will you ever get anything done? What's the fine balance?
These are some thoughts, I like to throw around. To be honest, I've been trying to discipline myself into steady writing for some time now, and it's difficult. The more deadlines and word limits I impose, the more time I spend worrying over them. My willpower goes into maintaining my system and then I wonder why I'm not inspired. How can inspiration come if you're constantly yelling, "You have to write 9 pages by bedtime, hurry up, you're wasting time, you're never going to finish if you don't write already, just get something on the page, I don't care what it is, just do something!" On the other hand, if I didn't force myself to write at least 5 times a week, I'd make excuses and get out of practice.
What are your thoughts on willpower and discipline? Do you find the idea of a limited amount depressing or refreshing?
Comments would be nice.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Saving Inspiration for a Rainy Day
Inspiration struck about ten years ago, when I went to Cal-State Humboldt to see if that college was the right fit for me. (It was not.) Redwood forests grew just a few miles from the campus, and I was in awe of the giant trees that shot up to the misty sky, intrigued by the maze of roots which scattered the ground, overjoyed by a hollowed stump I crouched into. The image painted itself in my mind and, a couple years later, as I began to write my fantasy novel, the first scene was set in the redwood forests.
My dad, whose always been my biggest fan, liked that scene so much, he decided to take me up to the redwood forest to recapture that inspiration. It didn't quite work out. After an exhuasting 18-hour car trip, we found ourselves camping, but the only thing I noted this time was a profusion of bright yellow banana slugs and ferns. My dad asked me how I liked the trees. I replied that I was having trouble seeing them, because they were "too tall." He never let me live that one down.
The trouble for me is that having inspiration and using inspiration are two different things. I may be inspired by a wonderful new place, but I can't figure out how to use it in a story until years have passed and the impression is as fuzzy as a Monet painting. Or, maybe I seek inspiration for a story and find myself not quite as uplifted as I imagine. Inspiration is a fickle, fleeting thing. How do you bottle it and save it for a rainy day? Here are my suggestions.
1. Be in the Moment
This is the easiest thing to do. When you feel inspiration seize you, just go with it. Don't try so hard to capture every detail that you loose sight of the whole. Don't get so caught up recording the experience that you forget to experience it. We write what moves us, so first, we must be moved.
2. Take Note of Odd Things
The first time I studied abroad in Japan, I tried to take note of absolutely everything. I ended up exhausted, my notes unreadable. Since then, I've found out that one or two interesting details can make all the difference. Rather than describe the blue vending machines with the Suntory adds near the chainlink fence half choked by dark green Camilla bushes whose flowers had bright red petals and yellow centers, and the prices ranging from 120 to 150 yen, hot and cold options, cans of coffee, cafe au lait, Bickle, Pocari Sweat, green tea in bottles, tea whose name I can't read....etc, etc.... I could just note that I got a fermented yogurt drink called Bickle at a vending machine and drank it near the only living plants in the Japanese winter, gaudy red Camilla flowers.
3. Write Down Impressions, Names
Of course, there's no harm in writing down everything you can and sorting out the details later. But I would particularily pay attention to non-visual senses and feelings. If you forget how something looks, you can find a photograph. But the photograph isn't going to remind you of the way moss felt springy under your feet or the slight butterscotch smell of a ponderosa pine. And its certainly not going to tell you how, after chugging along the forest for an enternity, suddenly the trees stopped and your heart leapt as you found yourself staring at the rolling waves of the ocean. Taking note of names is for practical purposes--if you forget certain facts, you can google them later on.
4. Photos are Good, too
I like taking pictures. It's all part of the experience, for me, and it helps to serve as a visual aid. o long as it doesn't interfere with your experience, it's all good.
5. Organize
So you were good, and in the heat of the moment, you took abundant pictures and notes. But they will lie there forgotten unless you do something with them. When I was a kid, I used to scrapbook. When I got older, I found I preferred setting up photo albums on facebook and writing ridiculously long email "newsletters" to my family and friends. Not only does it make it easier to go back to later on, it also helps me review and crystalize my memories. For smaller bursts of inspiration, I simply write impressions down in my idea notebook. I title the entry for future reference and move on.
6. Let it Rest
Ideas are like cookies. You eat them up and let them digest. Rarely do I ever use my bouts of inspiration immediately. They need time to bubble up to my subconscious in new and interesting forms. If you feel you must write now, then by all means write But don't be frustrated if you gathered all this inspiration and have nothing to do with it. That will come in time.
By the way, it should be known that I rarely have time to do more than half the steps. Most of the time, I end up doing Step 1, 2, and 6, which is fine for small, spontaneous ideas. But if you are actively seeking out inspiration--say, going on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Europe--I would put in a lot of planning for capturing and recording what I find. It will eventually pay off.
My dad, whose always been my biggest fan, liked that scene so much, he decided to take me up to the redwood forest to recapture that inspiration. It didn't quite work out. After an exhuasting 18-hour car trip, we found ourselves camping, but the only thing I noted this time was a profusion of bright yellow banana slugs and ferns. My dad asked me how I liked the trees. I replied that I was having trouble seeing them, because they were "too tall." He never let me live that one down.
The trouble for me is that having inspiration and using inspiration are two different things. I may be inspired by a wonderful new place, but I can't figure out how to use it in a story until years have passed and the impression is as fuzzy as a Monet painting. Or, maybe I seek inspiration for a story and find myself not quite as uplifted as I imagine. Inspiration is a fickle, fleeting thing. How do you bottle it and save it for a rainy day? Here are my suggestions.
1. Be in the Moment
This is the easiest thing to do. When you feel inspiration seize you, just go with it. Don't try so hard to capture every detail that you loose sight of the whole. Don't get so caught up recording the experience that you forget to experience it. We write what moves us, so first, we must be moved.
2. Take Note of Odd Things
The first time I studied abroad in Japan, I tried to take note of absolutely everything. I ended up exhausted, my notes unreadable. Since then, I've found out that one or two interesting details can make all the difference. Rather than describe the blue vending machines with the Suntory adds near the chainlink fence half choked by dark green Camilla bushes whose flowers had bright red petals and yellow centers, and the prices ranging from 120 to 150 yen, hot and cold options, cans of coffee, cafe au lait, Bickle, Pocari Sweat, green tea in bottles, tea whose name I can't read....etc, etc.... I could just note that I got a fermented yogurt drink called Bickle at a vending machine and drank it near the only living plants in the Japanese winter, gaudy red Camilla flowers.
3. Write Down Impressions, Names
Of course, there's no harm in writing down everything you can and sorting out the details later. But I would particularily pay attention to non-visual senses and feelings. If you forget how something looks, you can find a photograph. But the photograph isn't going to remind you of the way moss felt springy under your feet or the slight butterscotch smell of a ponderosa pine. And its certainly not going to tell you how, after chugging along the forest for an enternity, suddenly the trees stopped and your heart leapt as you found yourself staring at the rolling waves of the ocean. Taking note of names is for practical purposes--if you forget certain facts, you can google them later on.
4. Photos are Good, too
I like taking pictures. It's all part of the experience, for me, and it helps to serve as a visual aid. o long as it doesn't interfere with your experience, it's all good.
5. Organize
So you were good, and in the heat of the moment, you took abundant pictures and notes. But they will lie there forgotten unless you do something with them. When I was a kid, I used to scrapbook. When I got older, I found I preferred setting up photo albums on facebook and writing ridiculously long email "newsletters" to my family and friends. Not only does it make it easier to go back to later on, it also helps me review and crystalize my memories. For smaller bursts of inspiration, I simply write impressions down in my idea notebook. I title the entry for future reference and move on.
6. Let it Rest
Ideas are like cookies. You eat them up and let them digest. Rarely do I ever use my bouts of inspiration immediately. They need time to bubble up to my subconscious in new and interesting forms. If you feel you must write now, then by all means write But don't be frustrated if you gathered all this inspiration and have nothing to do with it. That will come in time.
By the way, it should be known that I rarely have time to do more than half the steps. Most of the time, I end up doing Step 1, 2, and 6, which is fine for small, spontaneous ideas. But if you are actively seeking out inspiration--say, going on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Europe--I would put in a lot of planning for capturing and recording what I find. It will eventually pay off.
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