Book: Review: The In-Between--An Honest, Imperfect Telling of Life with Schizophrenia

Title: The In-Between

Author: Jaime Lang *

Genre: Memoir
* Full disclosure: Jaime Lang is my sister. 

Summary

Aramyst was supposed to lead an Exceptional-Normal life: to have a nice job, a nice family, and succeed in the American Dream. Then came the rumblings of schizophrenia, depression, and social anxiety, along with the burgeoning realization she was gay (or transgender?). Burdened with this double stigma, Aramyst struggles through the typical markers of young adulthood—friendships, first loves, and fitting in—with a loosening grip on reality and a “demon captain” urging her to suicide. It is only through making peace with herself that Aramyst is able to escape from “The In-Between,” a realm between real and unreal, life and death.

Review

This book isn’t really about being gay or having schizophrenia, so much as it is about the struggle to be honest with yourself. Unable to discern real from unreal, Aramyst learns to mistrust herself—that she is wrong and that everyone else is right. Coupled with an environment that sends the message that being gay is immoral, Aramyst comes to the conclusion that she is evil. She learns to hate and tries to destroy herself—ripping herself apart from the inside out.

Although her journey is dramatic, the telling is simple, almost child-like at times. I was surprised by how much I could relate to this book. Who hasn’t had some inner, negative voice telling them all the ways they’re stupid and how they’ve messed up their lives? Who hasn’t wanted to destroy the undesirable parts of themselves, pretend they don’t exist, will them out of existence? I felt compelled by the author’s honest voice and it wanted to keep reading, even through the painful stuff.

And it is painful. The subject matter of THE IN-BETWEEN can be hard to read, although not for the reasons you’d think. For all the trigger issues of self-harm, hospitalization, and suicide attempts, it’s actually the day-to-day parts of life that are most intense: the friendship and relationship dramas, the desire to be loved, and the feeling of rejection. In a world that’s upside down, the big, scary stuff is mundane, while little bouts of human interaction are paralyzing.

In the middle of a book, while reading about a relationship I knew wasn’t going to end well, I had to stop and skip to the end, in order to reassure myself that everything would be all right. The good news is that there is hope, but it is not what you expect. Everything doesn’t go back to normal, the problem fixed, everything isn’t fine and dandy. Instead, Aramyst finds truth and wisdom buried within her pain that gives her the courage to move forward.

One objective criticism I have with THE IN-BETWEEN is the abundance of misspellings and grammatical errors. It caused me to grit my teeth, again and again. This is not a professionally published book. This will not appeal to those looking for a polished memoir. But it is an honest telling of life with schizophrenia and I’d recommend it for anyone who wants to get a better idea of how this form of mental illness can affect real life people.

 * * *
As a side note, Jaime Lang also does art and photography, which you can view on her website: https://www.dreamsofjuly.com

The Last Storyteller—A Short Story That Wanted to Be a Novel

Title: The Last Storyteller

Author: Michelle Dutton (Michelle Knowlden)

Genre: Sweet Romance, Paranormal Romance

Summary

In the small town of Ravenscar, men and women turn into birds, and storytellers keep their people’s secret history alive. Miri was born to be a storyteller, but she abandoned the role and left Ravenscar after her sister’s betrayal and a painful break-up with her boyfriend, Trey. Fourteen years later, Miri returns to Ravenscar for her sister’s funeral. Trey is waiting. As Miri confronts the truth of the past, she struggles to understand who she is and what her future holds.

Review

There is a very dreamy, almost poetic quality to “The Last Story-Teller.” The town of Ravenscar seems like a place forgotten to the world: a little sad, a little run down, but full of its own charm, with characters you can root for. I liked Miri and I found I could relate to her journey. Coming home with a new perspective allows her to understand her past better; at the same time, being home reaffirms who she is. I could also relate to Miri as a storyteller and her struggles as an artist:

“In carefully collecting every word, I lost the sense of weaving only certain threads and in sharing the right story. In collecting every emotion, I lost the skill of only keeping the feelings needed for my listeners. In being so analytical about every detail, I lost the reason and art of telling.”

But the problem I had was that the story felt too contracted, too rushed. I had to re-read the opening chapter a couple times, because I felt like I was missing key information, such as whether shapeshifting was genetic and which bloodlines could shift into which birds and what the key characteristics of each family was. (This plays an important part in the plot.) Different conflicts were teased, but they were never really developed.

For example, Miri and Trey’s relationship. The two still clearly have feelings for each other, but something happened in the past that tore them apart. I wanted to see the drama of this play out, with Miri slowly uncovering the truth, with both Miri and Trey facing their hurt feelings, with both weighing the risk of heartbreak over the potential for true love. But there’s no time for that. They talk about their break-up early on, and the story moves on to the next problem. One problem is solved, then another, then another, until everyone is happy again.

Ultimately, this story isn’t really about Miri and Trey re-kindling their lost love, or about the mysterious death of Miri’s sister, or about the struggles of family, or about small town life, or even about what it’s like to turn into a bird. It’s about Miri and who she is as a storyteller. On that level, it works. But there were so many other themes that could have been explored, that could have made “The Last Storyteller” a fuller, richer, and more satisfying story. It had the potential to be a wonderful novel, but it gets hampered by its short story size.

Five Tropes in Books and Movie that Get Me Every Single Time

I refuse to call them guilty pleasures, because I don’t feel guilty about liking these tropes. Some might view these things, but I don’t care, because I like what I like. These are the top five things that, even when done badly, will still hook me into a book or a movie every single time.

Counting down, from the least to most addictive:

5. Pretty Costumes

I’m a girl. So sue me. I like seeing pretty dresses, especially ones from older time. Be it rich medieval gowns or buttoned-up Victorian trench coats or any random mish-mash in between, I just like to look at them.

One of the first movies I remember seeing in theatres without adults was Ever After, and while I liked the movie just fine, what made me wear out my DVD watching it over and over again was the lush Renaissance-era dresses. Rich colors, flowing fabrics, hints of jewels—what’s not to love?

I’m not a fashionista. I hate going clothes shopping. I haven’t a clue what’s in style, and frankly, I don’t care. So it’s weird that this one gets to me. All I can say is that I like beauty and romance, and I think when you wear these kinds of costumes, you feel beautiful and romantic, like you’re from a different world, a world of new and interesting possibilities.

4. Games

I began to notice that, when I visited my local Barnes and Noble and scanned the titles on the shelf, the one word caught my eye, time again and again, was: “game.” Now it helps that some books I really love have the word “game” in it: Ender’s Game, The Hunger Games, Game of Thrones. But it’s more than that.

 

To me, games are all about rules and strategy. The rules represent the boundaries, but within those boundaries the player is free to act however they want—pressing the limits, maybe even breaking rules. In a game, two or more rivals butt heads, each matching wits with one another. What’s at stake is usually so much more than pride or money, with people’s lives or even the fate of the world resting on the outcome of the match.

Basically, games are like fights, but rather than being all about violence and physical strength, it’s all about intelligence and creativity. Last week, I established how much I hate stupid characters, but if the writer wants to convince me a character is smart, one of the easiest ways is to have them play a little game.

3. Epics

After watching Avenger: Infinity War for the fourth time, I was trying to figure out why I was so into it. It occurred to me that Infinity War is a true epic: it balances multiple heroes, multiple storylines, multiple settings; it has big battles, grand stakes, and real sacrifice.

I love fantasy and science fiction and all its subgenres, from paranormal romance to dystopias, but the genre I love the most is the epic. I cut my teeth on The Lord of the Rings trilogy—to this date, they’re among my favorite movies. And when I think about what I like about epics, they are ambitious. They are not aiming for light and fluffy and amusing—they are aiming for powerful emotions.

Honestly, I think life is epic. At least, I like to think it is. When I see characters who grapple with good and evil, hope and despair, the lives of friends and the fate of the world, honestly, I feel I can relate. Not because I myself carry such burdens, but I do struggle to do the right thing and I want to make the world a better place and there have been times (like last year) when I have wondered whether all my hard work will mean anything.

So, yeah, epics give me hope that I can matter.

2. “Beauty and the Beast” Love Stories

You know what these “tales as old as time” are: there are two people and one usually starts off as ugly (either outwardly, inwardly, or both), but the process of love transforms the “beast” into a kind and beautiful soul.

These are such beautiful love stories, but I’ve heard so much controversy about them. People seem to think that the moral is either: “lock a girl up until she loves you,” or “see, girls, if you put up with a boy’s abusive behavior long enough, he’ll change” or something like that. But that is not the message. The message is that love has the power to transform people—not that it will transform, but that it can.

Also, please look more closely at these stories. “Beauty” never falls in love with the “beast” because he is mistreating her. She falls for him because he is kind. If he doesn’t start off as kind, she either calls him on it or she treats him with a compassion and human decency he’s not used to receiving. This inspires him to become a better person and to change. That’s when she falls for him.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but for me, this is the only kind of love story worth telling. Love should change people for the better. If love doesn’t change someone—or, heaven forbid—makes them worse—is it really a love? I’m not interested in material wealth or having cute kids. To misquote Elizabeth Bennet, “Only the deepest love will persuade me to read love stories, which is why I so rarely read them.”

1. Bad Guys

You knew this was coming, right? This is the one thing that gets me each and every time, and it sucks because I hate the whole “girls love a bad boy” stereotype, but I love bad guys. They be anything from full on crazy villains to cold and intelligent rivals to angsty anti-heroes with a bad rap, but I swear, 9 times out a 10, you find the bad guy in a book or movie, you’ll find my favorite character.

Gollum. Snape. Seto Kaiba. Saito Hajime. Team Rocket. Iago. Scarecrow. Loki. Kylo Ren.

I am so easy.

The reason I love these characters so much is because in genres that typically play with good and evil, these guys are always a little gray. They are not usually fully evil. They usually have a tragic backstory and exhibit noble qualities; they often dangle the fruits of redemption right in front of my nose. I want to see them become heroes, because I want to believe that anyone can choose to be good. But I’m never entirely sure where they’ll end up. They tend to be freer, more unpredictable, and more playful than the hero.

Honestly, I judge the hero based on how they treat these characters.

I love dissecting these characters, because I want to know if they’re truly evil, and if so, what makes a person evil? Is it possible for an evil person to be redeemed? How? If not, at what point do you actually give up hope? What is evil? What is good? How do you know if you’re really closer to the darkness or the light?

Obviously, this is not something I want to deal with in real life, but in books and movies, I fall for these characters each and every time, no questions asked.

* * *

So, just out of curiosity, do you agree with me or do you find that you can’t stand my tastes? What are your favorite things to see in books, movies, or T.V. shows?

My Top 5 Pet Peeves in Books and Movies

What makes you mad?

There are flaws in books and movies, and then there are pet peeves: little things that cause you to erupt like a geyser of boiling acid and spew your hatred for the property in a caustic rage. As a passionate fan with very specific tastes, I have my share of pet peeves, and I will happily rant about them for hours on end to whatever poor soul I can find to listen.

Today I’ve narrowed down my top five pet peeves, the tropes in books and movies that make gnash my teeth and wring my hair in fury. I’ve also put down examples and reasons why I feel so strongly. These are just my personal opinions, and feel free to disagree. But I hope my little rants helps you think about what really bothers you in stories and why.

So without further ado, here are my top five pet peeves, from least to most irritating.

Number 5: Bland Acting

If I were given the choice between an actor giving an over-the-top, scenery chewing, triple ham and cheese, utterly ridiculous performance—or an actor standing with a sleepy stare on his face, I will take the former every time. I can forgive an actor for being terrible, but I cannot forgive them for being boring.

A classic character is completely wasted on blandness.

Brad Pitt epitomizes this for me, not because he can’t act, but he can’t act in the roles I find interesting. I got burned by him three times before I refused to watch him in anything besides Ocean’s 11 type movies, which he seems to handle fine.

First, I caught Meet Joe Black on T.V., where he got to play the literal embodiment of death, and all he did was look bored and depressed. Then I saw Interview with the Vampire, where Tom Cruise turned him into a vampire. While Tom Cruise was having fun and single-handedly keeping the movie afloat, Brad Pitt was listlessly whining about how life as a vampire sucked. Finally, I saw Troy, and though I’d never read The Iliad, I knew enough about the character of Achilles to know that the man was both a massive jerk and a hero. I so desperately wanted to see both characteristics finely balanced out. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

“But I thought he was a good actor,” my mom protested. “He cried really well in that one scene.”

“So what?” I replied. “He’s an actor—he’s supposed to know how to cry. But what did he bring to the character? Achilles is arrogant, egotistical, and acts like a whining baby when he doesn’t get his way. I wanted to see him embody those flaws, yet still show enough charisma to charm us to his side against our will. Instead I got none of it! He wasn’t evil, he wasn’t charming, they tried to make him a good guy, but even that didn’t work. Who cares if he cries when his character is sad? That’s the easy part. The tough part is constructing a character with contradictions and making us believe in him.”

Bland acting bothers me, because there’s no risk to it. Actors stay in their safe comfort zones. They don’t put thought or energy into their roles. They sleepwalk through them. I’m not paying for that. I feel like, if you do nothing else, be interesting! Entertain me! That’s what I’m paying you for.

Number 4: Stupid Characters

It’s not that I hate all stupid characters. Some characters are deliberately stupid for comedic purposes—and that’s okay. I can deal with that. What I hate is characters we’re supposed to root for who make stupid, impulsive choices over and over again, yet get bailed out by the author. This happens with so many fantasy heroes, it’s not even funny.

It is possible to be a hero and have a brain.

The best example I can think of is Naruto, the anime ninja who dreams of being hokage, a legendary rank of ninja. He blunders straight into danger without thinking, over and over, expecting his power or his sheer determination to get him out of the mess—and time and time, he triumphs. It drove me crazy.

Added to this, Naruto was joined by Sakura, who embodied the stupid girl love interest. Her every waking thought was spent on how to capture the affection of the cold, but “cool” guy she had a crush on. Literally, her every thought. Love had made her stupid. She had no personality outside this crush and was completely useless in battle.

Apparently, they got better, but I didn’t stick around long enough to find out.

I just hate this. I hate stupidity, and worse yet, I hate when stupidity is rewarded. I like characters who are smart, thoughtful, and responsible—not ones who are lucky.

Number 3: Nihilism and Despair

Speaking of negative things that have affected my chosen genre, I found I have an aversion to “literary” fantasy. The recent books I’ve read tend to strip the romance out of the magical world. I like my fantasy to be about struggles, growth, and morality, not… well, whatever the opposite is.

Let's treat Narnia like it's our own, personal video game.

Take The Magicians, a “literary” blend of Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia. Except that, when our motley group of heroes are granted not only magic but enough money to be secure for the rest of the life, they decide that, rather than using their power to better the world, they’ll spend their time being bored, cheating on each other, escaping to an entirely new world where they’re treated as saviors, acting like new world is their exclusive playground, and then being shocked when their actions have consequences. Apparently, things like heroes, loyalty, and friendship are all very passé. It’s all about selfishness and boredom.

I’m also a little nervous around dark fantasy and dystopias, because, while I can handle darkness, I dislike despair. I was enjoying The Hunger Games trilogy up until the third book literally killed the embodiment of goodness and hope, as well as main character’s entire reason for struggling so hard and sacrificing so much. As Katniss went into despair, so did I—and it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I read books to inspire me, to give me hope. And while I will happily deal with the darkness of the world and the darkness of the soul, in the end, I want to believe that evil can be overcome, that wounds can heal, that change is possible, and that sacrifices will be honored. Take that away, and why am I bothering to read?

Number 2: Endings that Negate the Whole Plot

The host of a movie news channel I watch on YouTube once said that nobody didn’t love The Wizard of Oz, but I disagree, because even as a kid, I hated that movie. The problem was the ending. After going through the whole long journey, I was presented with not one, but two Deus ex Machinas: first, the water bucket of water that melted the witch out of nowhere, and second, the ruby red slippers that could have teleported Dorothy out of Oz anytime she wished. To top it off, the movie was capped with an “it’s all just a dream” ending. The whole movie was meaningless.

 

But it was all just a dream...

When I read a book or watch a movie, I do so with this implicit promise that the plot will lead to a logical and fulfilling conclusion. When the book or movie breaks that promise, I get mad, and I get even madder knowing that I wasted all this time and caring over a premise that was meaningless.

Another example is The Scions of Shanara. In the first book, we are told that evil is coming to the world and that four chosen ones must complete their tasks to rid the world of evil. At the end of four long books, the last person retrieves a sword that promptly sucks all the evil beings into the blade. And I thought, why did I read this? Why bother with any of the side quests at all, if all you needed was the stupid sword? No one had to struggle and sacrifice. It was pointless.

I hate pointless things. If you write an ending that breaks its promise to the readers, then you tear that ending up and start again, because your audience deserves better. They deserve a real ending.

Number 1: Writer’s Block

God, I hate this so, so much. And I’ve read it so often in critique groups, where young writers trying to “write what they know,” write about their inability to write. Worse though, are professionals who put this out. It always seems to go like this:

Watch me stare at the typewriter for two months. It's art.

There is a main character, who is a writer. This writer has already made tons of money off at least one bestseller, and is now under pressure to write another book. But they can’t think of an idea. So, for days, months, or years at a time, they stare at a typewriter, wander around, and/ or drink to excess while trying to come up with a new idea.

This is so boring. Nothing happens. For pages and pages.

I’m a writer. I’ve had to deal with writer’s block. I sit down and write until I come up with an idea. If that doesn’t work, I research or re-read my previous chapters. If that doesn’t work, I switch projects. If that doesn’t work, I deal with whatever psychological issue that’s keeping me from writing. I have no sympathy for people who call themselves writers and don’t do the work.

And the thing that bothers me even more than the boredom, the sameness, or the lack of realism, is the fact that it makes me jealous. These writer characters have already found success and recognition. I have never had that luxury. I have had to struggle and work toward achieving my dream. And I’m still not there. It’s frustrating to see a character who already has everything you so desperately want angst about how hard it is to have it.

So for all these reasons, writer’s block is my number one pet peeve.

* * *

What are your pet peeves and why do they bother you? I asked my friends on Facebook, and this is what they replied:

Christy Madokoro “I'll put a book down if I don't like the way a main character speaks. If they sound whiny or extreme Valley girl-ish, I put the book away. And that's probably all a matter of perspective... But the moment I see slang, temper tantrums, woe-is-me, or the word "hella," I have to reevaluate the quality of the book thus far...usually the word hella is an instant toss out...I can't remember any books that might include, but I've definitely turned off movies in the past. When a main character feels sorry for themselves all the time without moving past that, or they are only focused on the unfairness of their life, it's another annoyance that will make me put a book down.”

Claire Larry “I couldn't stand Twilight's writing style. It didn't flow, and it felt like she was pulling words out of the dictionary that she didn't know how to really properly use. It gave me an actual headache.”

Biz Nijdam “I hate it when people don't say goodbye when they hang up the phone in movies! Also that no one knows how to use the subjunctive...”

Next week, I’m going to write about the opposite: what I’m a complete sucker for in books or movies. If you want me to put your reply in my blog, reply in the comments or on Facebook.

On Sale Today for 99 Cents: Three Floating Coffins

My second novel, Three Floating Coffins, is having a Countdown Sale on Amazon. The deal is, for today only, you can download the Kindle version for 99 cents. Tomorrow, the book goes up to $1.99. Sunday, it goes up to $2.99. And Monday it goes back to its normal price of $3.99. You can purchase it here. (The paperback version is still $15.00)


What happens when you can no longer trust your family? That's what 13-year old Princess Odele wonders when her father seals her and her two older sister in three floating coffins and cast them into the sea. Now, Odele must find new allies and uncover old secrets if she is to save her sisters and her kingdom. Full of magic, mystery, and adventure, Three Floating Coffins fighting to discover the truth and the power within herself.

For more details, see my website:
http://www.rebeccalangstories.com/three-floating-coffins.html

So, why am I having this deal? Well, I've entered Three Floating Coffins in an Amazon contest and the grand prize is $10,000. However, part of the judging is based on how many sales and reviews my book generates. Right now, I don't have a lot of either, so I'm hoping to boost it. At the very least, I'm hoping for more people to find and enjoy my book. While I am incredibly grateful for the love and support from my family and friends, I want to spread my story to people outside my circle. I believe it has a positive message for many people.

You can listen to me read the prologue and the first chapter of Three Floating Coffins in the videos below.

Rebecca Reads the Prologue

Rebecca Reads Chapter 1

If you do buy and read the book, please review it on Amazon. That, again, would really help me out, because the more reviews, the more likely other people, scanning the list, will buy it. It doesn't have to be long. Five minutes is all it takes. If you're unsure how to write a review, I wrote a blog entry about how to review on Amazon here.